to support a government that wants laws that make them feel less than equal. I love too many black people to want a president who encourages racism by sharing videos of his supporters screaming “white power.” I love too many women (myself included) to vote for a party that wants to take away our rights…

Definition from Urban Dictionary: 1. To drive around in a nice car with the top down. 2. Generally living large; living life well. 3. That sexy activity endorsed by dental hygienists and other anal-retentive folk. I’m talking about #3. I’m also kind of talking about #2 because I’m high-maintenance when it comes to my dental…

2 blogs ago I wrote about my theory of Kanye West running for president. I sang his praises about being brilliant, etc. and that I thought if he ran he would win. I also admitted 2 things: 1 – that I was not going to do any actual research and write about my personal reasons…

I started going to church online. I feel like I needed something else in these batshit crazy times. I usually identify as “spiritual” but the more I’ve been going to (watching) the church I’ve chosen, the more I realize I actually do identify as a Christian. However, I was watching church today and I hit…

Not in the racially driven, “We see no color” statement; I mean like, literally, colorblind. It’s often inherited, so they never really stood a chance when it came to the ability to distinguish between greens and reds. PJ is colorblind, my maternal grandfather was, and so is my cousin on my mother’s side. My mom…

A lot has changed since the last time we chatted. Well I should say, the last time I chatted and you listened – thank you, btw! I’m sure PJ thanks you too. Staying home during the pandemic has made it so that if he has to hear one more story or rant from me he’s…

That’s such a funny threat. I know I’m about to offend many people by what I’m about to say but you know what? If you don’t like it, you can unfriend me right now!!! I’m sorry but that makes me laugh every time I see it. “Ooooh oh noooo don’t unfriend me!!” It reminds me…

And if you can recite the rest of that commercial, then you my friend, HAVE grown up. Congratulations, it’s a gift that many of our peers have not been awarded. But as grateful as I am to have made it to 43 – you know, that age where you have to do the math in…

That’s a line in the R.E.M. song It’s the End of the World as we Know it (And I Feel Fine), and also where I first heard the name Lenny Bruce. I was a teenager so I didn’t know or care who he was. I’d again heard the name several times throughout the years, but…

I find that lately I’ve been referring to all people as ‘guys’. I used to feel a little silly using that word when also addressing females, but I just love how it gets my point across. To me, it’s a very casual, all-inclusive term. And when I use it, I’m most likely about to dish…

My dad went from being the most difficult person to buy presents for, to the easiest, when I discovered he absolutely loves it when I buy him liquor as a gift. It’s great because Christmas, his birthday, and Father’s Day are spaced apart so perfectly, that by the time he’s about to finish one bottle,…

Do you ever look at an angry person mouthing off and ask why? Even if you asked, their pride isn’t going to allow them to tell the truth. They’ll probably hide behind their bravado and use empty, baseless phrases along the lines of: He’s an animal! She’s a racist! He’s a snowflake! She’s a moron!…

I saw Claire Danes in the airport years ago and I wanted to run up to her and tell her that she’s one of my favorite actresses. My So Called Life should have been called The Story of Tiffy’s Life because it was a spot-on adaption of my awkward adolescence. Alas, I did not go…

My son is going into 7th grade. I still remember 7th grade vividly. As a mom, it makes me a little nervous because that’s when I started pushing the boundaries that I’d always stayed within before. I passed my classes but I was kind of a “bad” kid. I started smoking in 7th grade. I…

I was just sucked into a moms fb page and I started feeling really badly about myself. The original poster asked which neighborhood she should move to from out of state. All these people chimed in and of course if I didn’t know them already I had to see what they looked like. So many…

Last week we got Hulu. There were some shows I wanted to see on it, so as if we didn’t already watch enough TV and have enough channels, packages, what-have-you … we added it. We’re saving on gas during the quarantine, right?? Side note: Yes, we’re still quarantining. No, I don’t think it’s time to…

A guy jumped out of the bushes and blind-sided my friend and me when I was giving her a ride to the bar on my bike many many many moons ago. We crashed to the ground and got bloodied elbows and chins. The assailant wasn’t a stranger. It was someone we knew. We were sure…

About 7 years ago I was the only person in the world without a smart phone. I was very content with my little flip phone that looked like a small, grey egg. All I wanted was to feel safe with the ability to contact someone if I got stuck on the road. PJ would say,…

And let your poor heart break a little 🎶 To get through this pandemic with our love for each other still in tact, these song lyrics are true in the Petti home. You gotta give (up) a little: Before the pandemic, electronics were not allowed at the table at meal time. Now at lunchtime, they…

I try not to get into Facebook wars. It’s really silly; grown men and women getting all fired up while not even being face-to-face with the person they’re fighting with, tapping angrily away on their phones or keyboards and hitting send. Then sitting, angrily waiting, watching the “… … …” and anticipating the response. But…

There’s a little boy in my 2nd grader’s class, we’ll call him R. I think my son is jealous because he knows how much I adore R. Whenever I’d walk into their classroom, I’d get hugs from most of the kids, but R would hang back and walk up after everyone else so he could…

Hi. If you’re reading this we’re probably friends. But my finger has been on the trigger with this one for a minute and I wasn’t sure if I should shoot. I almost didn’t, but now I’m going to. So if you don’t agree, I sincerely hope we can still be friends. However … Let’s all…

As I’ve mentioned before, I love Larry David. Prettyyy, prettyyy, prettyyy much anything he’s ever done. I know a lot of people who don’t like his show Curb Your Enthusiasm because of all the confrontation he creates. I love it because he’s just doing what no one ever does – speaks his mind and calls…

Biff and my doctor friend have (somewhat) gentle ways of opening my eyes to things. I’m not saying their opinions are always on point because they’re the same ones who claim Dirty Dancing isn’t a good movie, but this time I’m going to err on the side of caution and accept their not-so-subtle criticism, which…

Remember in The Goonies when the Fratellis were trying to get Chunk to talk so they stuck his hand in a blender? He started spilling his guts about all the messed up things he did in his life so they wouldn’t hurt him. That’s kinda the tone of this blog entry. When I was a…

Here’s a little story for y’all to peep it’s called “Me and my friends on four-twen-ty.” *Please read the above sentence in the same rhythm as the first line of Mike on the Mic from the quintessential Beastie Boys album Paul’s Boutique. Thank you. In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past…

Today is the last day of spring break for my kids. Tomorrow will make this upside-down bizarro world even more crazy than it’s already been. So many times I’ve thought to myself, “I’m giving in! I’m not doing this! Come Monday when it starts up again, I’m opting out!” But a very wise friend gave…

Some people are just inherently good. I think I have good qualities, but I definitely have a vindictive, childish, Petti side (see what I did there?) I do know, however, a handful of people (or less) who are just good. One of them is my friend Kelly. In all the time I’ve known her, I…

I’m taking this opportunity to thank all the men out there who still believe in chivalry. Maybe chivalry isn’t the right word. I’m talking more about the men who treat women as their equals. I’ve known so many “tough guys” in my life. Tough guys is in quotes because the “tougher” you act, the more…