Now we sip champagne when we thirstayyy 🎵 Just kidding. I drink water when I’m thirs-tay. Ugh but birthdays are the worst days. Not in the “I’m so old let’s not celebrate my birthday” way. I am extremely grateful that God has granted me another year on this Earth. No I’m talking about birthdays being…

I’m sad that Charlie Brown isn’t on TV anymore. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not really that big of a deal – we own the dvds and have Apple TV; but we literally *just* had our annual convo deciding to wait until it was on TV to watch. I always joke that my…

🤯 🤯 🤯 Hey, sorry, the title was total clickbait. I mean, I could possibly be talking about 2020 as a whole, but nothing really just happened. The reason I wanted to catch your attention is because I’m trying to get anyone who dropped off from reading my blog because I’m too political, too lib-tardy,…

Biffer told me months ago that I should watch Schitt’s Creek. I watched two episodes and hated it. Teara told me she loves Schitt’s Creek. I said I watched two episodes and hated it. I said it was painful and we could barely make it through the second episode. Everyone told me I should watch…

Think of any bully you’ve known in your life. At the root, they’re usually just sad inside and want to take their pain out on others. The prime example of this is Nelson Muntz from the Simpsons. His dad went to the store for a pack of cigarettes and never came home. Because of Nelson’s…

Aka MCA; member of the Beastie Boys; aliases Nathaniel Hornblower & Abednego. He died of parotid cancer (salivary gland), in 2012. Danielle and I used to lay on my bed for hours trying to decide which Beastie Boy looked the hottest in the posters on my wall. I always liked Ad Rock (Adam Horovitz) the…

I’m sorry, but how is typing “F*** you” any less offensive than “Fuck you”? What is this, Kids Bop? Are we babies? Do teeny tiny asterisks really change anything? How does this * make it less offensive? And if you’re typing “fuck you”, you have no business trying to be “less offensive” in the first…

When I was a little girl, I’d sit on Lol’s lap every night before bed and ask the same question, “Mommy, was I a good girl today?” If I’d been well-behaved, she would say yes. On days when I was naughty (like the time I purposely dropped an encyclopedia on Teara’s head from the 2nd…

a few years ago i went to pick up my chinese fooD and the restaurant was On fire. it looked like it was oNly A grease fire and everyone was ok. i saw a bag that Looked reaDy for pickup and i was so tempted to ask if i could just grab iT, but i…

Lately I’ll see something that bothers me on social media during the day, and I’ll do what all the people tell me to do – just scroll on by. It annoys the shit out of me, but look … I’m just scrollin’ on by … I’m so mature. I’m proud of myself actually. I succeeded…

My 8 and 10-year-old had a fight yesterday. This happens a lot. I’ll be in my office working, and when my husband has successfully pretended to be too busy to listen to what they have to say, they come to me. Their faces appear in the panes of the French doors – both pressing their…

Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “Behind every great man is a great woman.” There’s no denying that Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a dynamic woman, but not unlike what Eleanor said about Franklin, behind her greatness was actually a great man. Whoa whoa whoa – stop the clock. A feminist icon like the Notorious RBG owes her…

I like to read parenting articles so I can think to myself, ‘Haha suckers. Been there, done that, and did it better.’ There are so many articles about what kids should eat, what’s an appropriate bedtime, how to get them to listen, blah blah blah … semi-helpful but also fully boring. You rarely see important…

Forget for a moment that we live in a world where Donald Trump is our President, and remember back when Barack Obama was in office. Under his Presidency, he was lambasted for wearing a beige suit, and his wife, First Lady Michelle Obama, was ridiculed for wearing a sleeveless dress. Could you imagine if she…

My most fervent wish is that I will not be replaced until a new President is installed. – Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Women, and the men who support our rights, shouldn’t be sad that Ruth Bader Ginsburg didn’t get her one last wish, but instead look at it like she did us one…

lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun 🎶 😋 🍔 For dinner I had a Big Mac and medium fries (I wanted a large but I’m being good). Oh McDonald’s, you have my heart forever 😍 I just woke up wishing I had more. Our family discussion was how much McDonald’s we could…

Eli Manning retired last year and I miss him already. I’m not a big fan of football in the traditional sense. I don’t even fully understand the game even though I was a cheerleader for 2 years (I was strictly there for the boys and the cute outfit.) But the sound of the crowd, the…

As noted before, I’m a little obsessed with Lenny Bruce. I just finished puzzle-nerding my life away while listening to his autobiography, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People, and discovered he was honorably discharged from the Navy by doing a comedy act while cross-dressing. That rang a bell to me because the TV show…

I wonder what my Grandfather (Poppa) would’ve thought of President Trump if he was alive. When The Apprentice was on TV and we’d all tell him what a great show it was, he’d twist up his face and say, “He’s a skunk! His father was good, but he’s a skunk!” He knew first hand what…

Ahhh the summer of 2020. I’ll look back at it as a time when the pandemic & election made me lose my mind. Just like George Costanza had ‘The Summer of George”, I’ll fondly remember it as, ‘The Summer of Tiffy”, when insults flew out of my mouth faster than a Noah Syndergaard slider. But…

My son played basketball for 4 years. He has so many wonderful talents, but let’s just say basketball wasn’t one of them 😬 I am SO PROUD of him for sticking with it for so long even though he knew he wasn’t the best. The first year he played was ok, but it was obvious…

In one of my previous blogs I wrote about the culture I grew up in where a lot of kids knew they couldn’t go to their parents about something like being gay. Another topic that was not openly discussed back in the day was mental health. Even now, although progress is being made, there’s still…

Isn’t it funny that I write a blog but hate reading? It’s not because I don’t like to be educated or entertained by the words on a page; I think it has more to do with my borderline (and self-diagnosed) ADD. Sometimes my mind goes in so many directions that when I read a page,…

I bet you thought this was going to be another politically charged post, right? Sorry, it’s not. But … it is about why I’m like this. You probably assume – especially if you know Teara too – that I come from a family with loudmouth parents. I do not. Well my Dad’s REALLY loud when…

I have this one friend (yes, after what I’m going to write, you’re not going to believe that I still call him a friend, but idk there are some people that act so ridiculously that you just can’t believe they’re being serious and they must just be busting your chops like old friends do). Well…

Soooo … what have you guys been up to lately? I’ve been finding out that a lot of family and friends hate me because I believe that people of color deserve the same rights as white people. They think that because I feel this way, it means I hate the police. I do not hate…

Up in here! Up in here! Well I kinda did already. It may have been a full moon. Maybe it really was PMS like my friend said. Maybe it’s that this weird-ass time in all of our lives finally broke me. But I really don’t think it’s any of those things. I’m pretty sure I’m…

One hard lesson I learned in life is that chasing people is useless. The only thing I chase these days is my Gentleman Jack with water. Yes I really drank whiskey the other day and it was disgusting. I’d been listening to my audiobook, The Woman in the Window, and the main character drank so…

My 20s were an interesting time. I got my first real job where the boss had 2 gears: sexual harassment or straight up monster. It’s sad that you’d rather be sexually harassed because that meant he liked you and it was much nicer than being torn down in front of a room full of people.…

I brought my son to the orthodontist the other day. I had braces so I know how much it sucks when they have to be tightened. It’s sucky because that night and usually throughout the next day, your gums and teeth are really sore. Because of this, I’m extra sweet to my wittle baby-waby. Usually…