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If it’s good enough for Gwynnie, it’s good enough for me.
Since I fancy myself a writer but not a reader, I’ve been trying to read more. How could I possibly reach my full potential if I never heard what the literary great’s “voices” sound like? Starting with J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye seemed like a good idea since I wanted to see what…
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Learn to think for yourself.
* edit – what a dummy. Trevor Noah’s accent is South African. Maybe that’s why his “British” accent was one of the things that rubbed me the wrong way about him. I thought he sounded like he was doing a bad British accent when it’s actually because he’s South African 😂 The jokes are still…
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Progress.
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be woken from a deep sleep and thrown into a hysterical state of panic, well today’s your lucky day because I’m an expert on the subject. Why an expert, you ask? Well it’s because last night was the second time it’s happened to me 👍 I was…
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Meatball hugs.
Sometimes I’m a mystery to myself. As I’ve mentioned many, many times before, I do not like to cook. However, my favorite thing to do is watch cooking shows. There has to be some hidden psychology going on there. It’s not like I think one day I’ll see something that looks so good that I’ll…
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Me & Teara got flashed while on the street.
I’m on a real reminiscing kick lately so … 🎶 Here’s a little story for y’all to peep, it’s called “Me & Teara got flashed while on the street”🎶 (sang to the tune of the Beastie Boys “Mike on the Mic” from Paul’s Boutique.) Teara and I lived less than a mile from every public…
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Cigarettes & lunch.
In the summer between 7th & 8th grade, almost every day, I’d dip into my birthday money, meet my across the street neighbor/BFF Christine in the middle of the street, and say, “Let’s go up to the stores.” She’d run back into her house grab some money and a lighter, and yell to her mom…
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Bible-thumpin’
My attitude has changed. At least for now, but I hope it stays this way. If anyone cared enough and noticed that my attitude has changed, they might think, “Oh sure, Biden won the election, so now everything is just great for her. Jussst great.” But that’s not it. Some might think it’s because there’s…
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In a world where you can be anything, be kind.
True, but sometimes there are people who will never get that message no matter how many times they scroll past it on the internet. It’s because they’re so unhappy that they don’t realize that being kind could actually turn the tables in their favor. Being kind gives off good vibes that exude from you, are…
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Get to work.
I just woke up in a cold sweat because I dreamt I was working at my old job – an environment in which sexual harassment ran rampant. In said dream, I was the assistant for a higher up who had a folder on his computer desktop that was specifically for his favorite pornography. (True story,…
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An ode to my eldest.
I’m warning you, if you’re not in the mood to learn about my son, one of the best humans this world has ever seen, you should stop reading right now. Oh good, you’re still here 🙂 My oldest son is 12. When I try to look at life through his eyes, I can still remember…
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Not everything has to be so hard.
As we were cleaning up dinner last night, PJ asked what we should do for New Year’s Eve: make a bunch of hors d’oeuvres (yes that’s really how it’s spelled, I copied & pasted it) or get take-out? It was a no-brainer for me (duh, take-out), but being that he suggested it, I figured he…
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So I had a weird and eye-opening day yesterday.
During the pandemic I started going to church online. Even if you’re a skeptic like me when it comes to religion, I recommend it. The ritual, the messages … they’re very grounding and comforting in a time like this. The more I’ve been going, the more I’ve enjoyed it. It provides a sense of calm…
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Just say thank you.
Merry Christmas! Thanks, you too! Happy Hanukkah! Thanks, you too. Happy Kwanzaa! Thanks, you too! Happy Ramadan! This one requires fasting so I’m not sure how happy I’d be but – thanks, you too! Happy St. Patrick’s Day! If you’re offended by this, you’re just a straight up psycho because it’s a well-known fact that…
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The Mc Motherf-ing Rib
Normal people have social media envy when seeing their friends’ new cars or luxurious vacations. Not me. I’m happy for those people. But when someone shares the precious moment of their children indulging in a culinary classic like The McDonald’s McRib for the very first time ……….. well that will make me greener than a…
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PEN15
We started watching a brilliant new show on Hulu called Pen15. It’s pronounced “pen fifteen” but I’m sure it’s supposed to look like ‘PENIS’ – like when you type 58008 on a calculator then turn it upside-down and it says ‘BOOBS’. Brilliant not just because I saw the name Jorma Taccone ❤️ flash by on…
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My blankie.
I related so hard to that kid in Mr. Mom when he sat at the top of the stairs with Michael Keaton and they talked about him giving up his woobie. I had a woobie, but I called it my blankie. It started out as a tightly knit, pink 11”x17”ish rectangle with knotted tassels around…
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Tips, tricks, life hacks, & advice.
In the spirit of giving, here are some tips/tricks I’ve learned in my 44 years. You’re welcome. – if you have a seasonal cough due to allergies when you lie down at night that causes you to cough your head off like I do, get saline nose spray for like $1.00 at the supermarket or…
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Oh shut up and go away Candace Owens.
At bedtime last night I came upstairs to see PJ and my oldest son holding hands on his bed. From afar it just looked like a sweet moment, but there was actually a reason for it. It turns out they had a bet going that if PJ could lift his hand off the bed while…
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When I’m rich.
Back when Diddy was Puff Daddy and his undeniably fabulous album No Way Out gave us the song Been Around the World – a track that mimicked the Lisa Stansfield song of the same name and sampled David Bowie’s Let’s Dance – there was one line that might be my favorite of any song ever…
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Real is so much better than fake.
Except when it comes to Christmas trees. Yeah I said it. WHAT? I grew up with real Christmas trees. My parents and sister still insist on getting one. “Nothing like the smell of a real Christmas tree!” they say. The tree debate is a sort of unspoken battle. Having been on both sides of it,…
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Woke part 2.
PJ and I started watching the show Woke on Hulu. It stars LaMorne Morris who I loved as Winston on New Girl – so I was in. I felt a little funny watching a show called Woke because it’s what one of my white friends calls me when I write about Black Lives Matter. According…
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We’re gonna have a quiet dinna at home.
We usually host Thanksgiving at my house, but my parents are in that sweet spot – scratch that – HORRIBLE spot – that because of their age and pre-existing conditions, they are prime targets for spending the last few weeks of their lives intubated and dying alone in a hospital bed if they were to…
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Red rum.
So I was going to write about how Jack Nicholson’s character went insane in The Shining, the Stanley Kubrick movie that was originally a book by Stephen King. I would’ve blah blah blah-ed my way to the point where I tell you that the one tip I give new mothers is to go outside and…
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I’m only happy when it rains.
If I’ve told you this one before, stop me. Haha, you can’t. No one can stop me. Ever. I was never a huge fan of the band Garbage until I found out the lead singer, Shirley Manson, wrote the song I’m Only Happy When it Rains to mock the Seattle grunge scene bands of the…
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Just like Jesus.
Penance: The Sacrament of Penance or the Reconciliation or Confession is one of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church in which the faithful are absolved from sins committed after Baptism and they are reconciled with the Christian community. I think I was 12 or 13 when I went through my penance class. I don’t…
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Deplorable.
Let’s just get right into this, shall we? For 4 years our President has said the most awful, divisive, disgusting, things – only topped by the amount of lies he has told. You were ok with that. For 4 years, many Trump supporters called people who exposed their feelings and/or had compassion for others “snowflakes”,…
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18 & life.
I was lying in my bed, watching TV on a Saturday night like I had been doing for the past 3 months. Teara, who had gotten married and moved out, also 3 months before, came busting through my bedroom door and said, “Get up. You’re coming with me & Chris to Mark & Jacqui’s Halloween…
