I was off yesterday so I decided to fully relax and luxuriate. I’ve been running on the treadmill for a few weeks now. Not because I want a hot bod (although that would be nice) but because I’m trying to stay off cholesterol medicine. You think that’s sexy? Wait until I get to the Metamucil!…

Long story short – when I was in high school, a boy said he’d go to the prom with me and then decided he didn’t want to, but didn’t have the balls to actually let me know that. I had to come to the conclusion on my own when he didn’t return my calls. I…

Joan Didion died in December. Before, I’d known her as a highly-regarded journalist/author, and wife of John Gregory Dunne of the famous Dunne family (Griffin Dunne for one, who plays Nicky on This Is Us (also – and more importantly to me – Madonna’s love interest, Louden, in Who’s That Girl 😍). But when she…

PJ and I watched the movie Fargo last night. Earlier in the day he’d asked if I ever saw it. “Yes. Did you?” “No.” “What?! Really??” Whenever I find PJ alone on the couch he’s either watching Red Dawn or The Patriot but he’s never found the time for a classic like Fargo. Ok. When…

I was going to run for the Board of Education this year. I decided not to. There was a meeting in November. November 17 to be exact. One day before my 45th birthday. It was an aggravating meeting. It got me agitated. There was one woman in particular who poked the bear. She was so…

Someone called me outspoken yesterday. He meant it as an insult but I obviously took it as a compliment. I’m picturing some of my heroes: Eleanor Roosevelt, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Hedy Lamar, Joan Didion, and Betty White ♥️, watching from Heaven and cheering me on. On Earth I imagine women I admire most: Gayle King,…

If you’re not grieving, stop being so sad. At least try. Memories pop up on Facebook from 10 years ago and I have to convince myself that it wasn’t just last year. Time is like the mercury from a shattered glass thermometer: once neatly contained, now rolling around in little balls, slipping and sliding around…

I don’t know why Barbie ever got such a bad rap. Mattel changed her image in recent years by making her more of a “career girl”, but I don’t think she needed it. It was an obvious attempt to quiet the angry masses who said Barbie is a bad influence. Even if they put Barbie…

That’s my hometown. I might be in NC now but my heart will always be in NB. Pete Davidson recently did a video on SNL about Staten Island (a must-see if you haven’t already.) One of the lines that stuck out for me is when he said that Staten Island is what made him weird.…

🎶 I believe the children are our future…🎶 So do I Whitney, so do I. 🎶 Teach them well and let them lead the way…🎶 Agreed ✅ 🎶 Show them all the beauty they possess inside…🎶 Right? All children need to be told how wonderfully unique they are! 🎶 Give them a sense of pride..…

When I was in 3rd grade, seemingly out of nowhere there were these after-school programs that each student could choose from. I’m not sure what the other programs were, because the moment I saw aerobics listed I was sold. It was so exciting. I’d already been doing The Jane Fonda Workout in my den, but…

My children. My dear, dear children. I brag about them a lot. Just yesterday I was saying how I’m convinced one will be President someday. I really wouldn’t be surprised if any of them were, actually. In my eyes they have it all – charm, great personalities, winning smiles … and I thought – intelligence.…

Sometimes I assume people just *know* what’s going on in my convoluted little brain. I think that just because I’m used to something or because I’ve told a story a million times, everyone must know it too. For instance, I learned recently that Teara’s friend Pam, (also my friend but in the sister realm you…

I was talking to my Biff the other day and she told me about some bitch in her life that makes a big deal over really stupid things as if she were still in high school. I said it sounds like she has a good ol’ case of arrested development (the psychology, not the TV…

Lisa: Oh my God. Look at that! Mom, I should’ve brought the coral shoes. You said I was taking too much. Marjorie: Well, sweetheart, you brought ten pairs. Lisa: But the coral shoes matched that dress. Baby: This is not a tragedy. A tragedy is three men trapped in a mine or police dogs used…

Step 1 – Write a post on a social media platform. Step 2 – Start with an apology for your need to post. Step 3 – State the number of years you’ve done all the hard work. Step 4 – Briefly include that others have helped you but don’t mention their names (after all, this…

I am very well-aware that I’m going to offend someone with this post but I’m sorry, this has to be said. Here’s a little story: Last night, on September 30th there was a commercial for “holiday scents”. I don’t even know what it was for because I wasn’t paying attention, but then PJ exclaims, “Holiday…

Ahhhhhh Halloween. Every year Teara and I begged Lol to let us wear our Wonder Woman and Batgirl Underoos as costumes. Every year she said “No.” “What if we wore them OVER our clothes?” “No.” “Pleassssseeeee????!!!!” “No.” Instead she’d take us to Toys ‘R’ Us and we’d pick out our boxed superhero costumes. You know,…

When I was 14 I signed up for a town program that gave kids working papers. I didn’t really want to work because I was lazy as shit. While everyone else played a sport or was in a club, you could find me on my couch eating and watching General Hospital, then Oprah, then falling…

There are many buzzwords and catchphrases I dislike, but the king of them all is: Does that make sense? I’ve yet to hear someone ask it after they’ve stated something that is particularly complicated. I truly think people use it as a condescending way to make sure you’re paying attention to them. Or maybe they…

I’m about to give you one of the most valuable pieces of advice you may never have known you needed, so listen up. One night not too long ago, my sons were afraid to go to sleep because they stumbled upon a clip for the movie IT and watched it. I tried to be gentle:…

When I find a good hack, I love to share. When I share a good hack that helps other people who hate cooking as much as I do, well, I feel like I just gained my angel wings. So here it goes. What’s better than Thanksgiving? Nothing. Don’t even try to fight me on this…

One of my very favorite movie lines is from John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever: Would ya just watch the hair? Ya know, I spend a long time on my hair and he hit it; he hit my hair. This was Travolta’s character, Tony, talking about how his Dad smacked him in the head. He…

Can we all put politics aside and address an equally large problem? STOP TOUCHING PEOPLE YOU SHOULDN’T BE TOUCHING!!!!!!!!! I never liked Cuomo. I thought it was embarrassing that he and his brother made a mockery of getting a COVID test by going on CNN with giant q-tips and making fun of each other’s noses.…

Amy Winehouse 🖤 sang one of my favorite songs “Back to Black”. In her case she was singing about drinking and drugs, but I can relate to it on this level: Riding high one day and then depression and/or self-hatred, and/or major anxiety shows up out of nowhere and makes itself comfortable in my head.…

re·li·gion/rəˈlijən/Learn to pronouncenoun the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods. Emphasis on the “personal”, please. I’ve written a bunch of times about my exploration into religion. Luckily I think I’ve found it, but it’s not in the Bible. Let me rephrase that. It’s not in someone…

Teara took piano lessons when we were kids, so naturally, I wanted to take piano lessons too. My parents bought a piano and put it in our living room. It was a light brown upright with a black leather bench seat that flipped up so we could store music sheets in it. I don’t know…

I can’t believe the ad I just saw for Victoria’s Secret. After a million years of giving men ridiculous expectations that women should be hairless, Amazonian sex goddesses, and giving women body dysmorphic issues and eating disorders, they have finally come to the realization that no one wants their itchy-ass underwear. This wasn’t always the…

I was a bitch in school. Most of the girls were. Bitchy little girls that went along with their peers and did horrible things. I was the type who went along with things, but by no means was I innocent. I was worse, a pathetic little follower doing what I thought I should do to…

PJ’s cultural background is 1/2 Italian, 1/4 Japanese, 1/4 Puerto Rican, and a drop of Hungarian Jewish ancestry thrown in to make him a real mensch. My background is 1/2 Italian and 1/2 Irish, with enough American Indian thrown in to make me a true American native compared to the racists whose families immigrated here…