The shock and sadness die down the angry fighting sets in We begin the nasty debates of should haves… would haves… and never beens The parents swallow little pills so they can get some rest for tomorrow they’ll bury their babies as they wear their Sunday best Thinking of that last morning sitting in the…

Yesterday PJ assembled the smoker he bought and spent all day prepping, then cooking the most delicious BBQ spareribs I’ve had in a long time – and we live in NC, so that’s saying a lot. My only complaint is that he should’ve made more because my savages were fighting over who got the most.…

I haven’t showered since Monday. Today is Thursday. It’s as gross as it sounds. I’m in the middle of my second round of allergy testing. Last time it was the skin prick test, this time it’s the patch test. They put 57 different tabs containing allergens on my back, marked me up with a sharpie,…

I know Mother’s Day can be a painful time for a lot of people, so here’s my attempt at making you laugh. I don’t even know what I’m going to write about yet. I’m still dredging my mind for a funny or embarrassing memory to tell you about. While I’m thinking, I just want you…

Last night my family and I went to the Cheesecake Factory. A couple came in and were seated diagonally across from us so that they were in my line of vision. (I mention the line of vision part so you don’t think I’m a weirdo stalker for what I’m about to tell you.) I couldn’t…

No, that brilliant title isn’t a product of my own imagination. It’s a book I listened to yesterday by Gary John Bishop, written in 2016. It’s not your typical self-help book. Bishop makes it very clear that it’s the anti-self-help book. Instead of trying to make you believe you’re wonderful and you deserve everything, it’s…

Oooweee some hardcore feminists are gonna want to strangle me with my own Fallopian tubes, but let me explain. I felt really guilty that this has been my opinion when, for the past few years, a woman would sometimes call the game in place of my beloved Gare (Gary Cohen), Keith (Keith Hernandez), and Ronnie…

Yesterday, I was sitting with PJ, sipping coffee and watching the news. It would’ve been quite pleasant if I didn’t see a large, grey object gyrating repetitively from the corner of my eye. Without looking straight at it, I knew what it was, for I’ve been tortured by it for the past 20 years. The…

Before I begin writing this, I want to make it VERY clear that I am not criticizing others, I am including MYSELF in this observation, for I am a self-professed helicopter mom. I’ve learned to lay off a little as they’ve gotten older, but oooh-weeee! I wasn’t just a helicopter mom, I was a dangerously…

Did you know that some people never dream? I find it hard to believe because mine are so vivid and occur almost every night. In fact, I just woke from a very complex dream where PJ and I were against a whole room of people, and I was trying to prove our innocence by reading…

Even though the world is basically falling apart around us, my life, personally, has remained steady for quite some time. If it were not for the point I’m about to make, that last statement might sound a bit braggadocios. I was recently posed with the question, “Do you find yourself overwhelmed or underwhelmed?” I truthfully…

I’ve suffered from eczema since I was in, I’d say, 4th grade. It would show up mostly in the crook of my arm and sometimes on my neck. Never really that bad though. As I got older it would come and go, but about 16 years ago, when PJ and I got married and moved…

I seriously don’t know why I watch the news. I’ve said before that it’s comforting because it reminds me of the olden days when my parents had the same ritual of turning it on as they settled in for the night. But even before the Russian invasion into Ukraine, it’s been a consistent horror show.…

I was off yesterday so I decided to fully relax and luxuriate. I’ve been running on the treadmill for a few weeks now. Not because I want a hot bod (although that would be nice) but because I’m trying to stay off cholesterol medicine. You think that’s sexy? Wait until I get to the Metamucil!…

Long story short – when I was in high school, a boy said he’d go to the prom with me and then decided he didn’t want to, but didn’t have the balls to actually let me know that. I had to come to the conclusion on my own when he didn’t return my calls. I…

Joan Didion died in December. Before, I’d known her as a highly-regarded journalist/author, and wife of John Gregory Dunne of the famous Dunne family (Griffin Dunne for one, who plays Nicky on This Is Us (also – and more importantly to me – Madonna’s love interest, Louden, in Who’s That Girl 😍). But when she…

PJ and I watched the movie Fargo last night. Earlier in the day he’d asked if I ever saw it. “Yes. Did you?” “No.” “What?! Really??” Whenever I find PJ alone on the couch he’s either watching Red Dawn or The Patriot but he’s never found the time for a classic like Fargo. Ok. When…

I was going to run for the Board of Education this year. I decided not to. There was a meeting in November. November 17 to be exact. One day before my 45th birthday. It was an aggravating meeting. It got me agitated. There was one woman in particular who poked the bear. She was so…

Someone called me outspoken yesterday. He meant it as an insult but I obviously took it as a compliment. I’m picturing some of my heroes: Eleanor Roosevelt, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Hedy Lamar, Joan Didion, and Betty White ♥️, watching from Heaven and cheering me on. On Earth I imagine women I admire most: Gayle King,…

If you’re not grieving, stop being so sad. At least try. Memories pop up on Facebook from 10 years ago and I have to convince myself that it wasn’t just last year. Time is like the mercury from a shattered glass thermometer: once neatly contained, now rolling around in little balls, slipping and sliding around…

I don’t know why Barbie ever got such a bad rap. Mattel changed her image in recent years by making her more of a “career girl”, but I don’t think she needed it. It was an obvious attempt to quiet the angry masses who said Barbie is a bad influence. Even if they put Barbie…

That’s my hometown. I might be in NC now but my heart will always be in NB. Pete Davidson recently did a video on SNL about Staten Island (a must-see if you haven’t already.) One of the lines that stuck out for me is when he said that Staten Island is what made him weird.…

🎶 I believe the children are our future…🎶 So do I Whitney, so do I. 🎶 Teach them well and let them lead the way…🎶 Agreed ✅ 🎶 Show them all the beauty they possess inside…🎶 Right? All children need to be told how wonderfully unique they are! 🎶 Give them a sense of pride..…

When I was in 3rd grade, seemingly out of nowhere there were these after-school programs that each student could choose from. I’m not sure what the other programs were, because the moment I saw aerobics listed I was sold. It was so exciting. I’d already been doing The Jane Fonda Workout in my den, but…

My children. My dear, dear children. I brag about them a lot. Just yesterday I was saying how I’m convinced one will be President someday. I really wouldn’t be surprised if any of them were, actually. In my eyes they have it all – charm, great personalities, winning smiles … and I thought – intelligence.…

Sometimes I assume people just *know* what’s going on in my convoluted little brain. I think that just because I’m used to something or because I’ve told a story a million times, everyone must know it too. For instance, I learned recently that Teara’s friend Pam, (also my friend but in the sister realm you…

I was talking to my Biff the other day and she told me about some bitch in her life that makes a big deal over really stupid things as if she were still in high school. I said it sounds like she has a good ol’ case of arrested development (the psychology, not the TV…

Lisa: Oh my God. Look at that! Mom, I should’ve brought the coral shoes. You said I was taking too much. Marjorie: Well, sweetheart, you brought ten pairs. Lisa: But the coral shoes matched that dress. Baby: This is not a tragedy. A tragedy is three men trapped in a mine or police dogs used…

Step 1 – Write a post on a social media platform. Step 2 – Start with an apology for your need to post. Step 3 – State the number of years you’ve done all the hard work. Step 4 – Briefly include that others have helped you but don’t mention their names (after all, this…

I am very well-aware that I’m going to offend someone with this post but I’m sorry, this has to be said. Here’s a little story: Last night, on September 30th there was a commercial for “holiday scents”. I don’t even know what it was for because I wasn’t paying attention, but then PJ exclaims, “Holiday…