This is a well-known piece of information.

It’s because the song is sooo long. In fact, it began playing on my way to my parents’ house yesterday and it’s still on.

I kid, I kid. But in reality, I got to their house, turned off the car, went inside, chit-chatted for a bit, my kids got their stuff together, kissed their grandma & hi-fived their grandpa, loaded up the car with trombones and backpacks, buckled our seatbelts, turned on the car and… there was still like 3 minutes.

But man, it’s a great song.

I asked my kids if they heard it before, and my eldest said, “You can’t play Stairway in guitar stores!” (a nod to the classic scene in Wayne’s World and also a real, unwritten rule, because it’s so long and so played out.)

I said, “Yes, but have you ever heard it?”

To my dismay, they had not.

Well of course this needed to be remedied, so I had one of them pull it up in iTunes.

It takes 3 minutes to get home from my parents’ house, so I drove under the speed limit. By the time we got to our house, it was still at the beginning of the song.

I let them know that I was going to drive around until it was over. My eldest cried out, “No! I have to pee!!!” I begged him to hold it but he claimed he could not. I knew he would’ve ruined the song with his crying so we came to a compromise.

I paused it and he ran inside to pee.

I gotta tell you, pausing Stairway felt a little sacrilegious. It was also a bit awkward as me and the other 2 hooligans sat there in silence waiting, but I didn’t want to ruin the vibe.

When he finallyyy came out, we drove around the neighborhood until it was over.

I was so into it. It took all my strength to not sing and head-bang and air guitar, but I didn’t want their embarrassing mom ruining this magical moment for them.

I knew they were going to be blown away —and also a little sad that they waited this long to hear the whole thing.

Well.

Some parents are disappointed if their kids don’t make straight As.

Some are humiliated when their child strikes out during the big game.

What disappoints and humiliates me?

A lackluster, “Yeah, it was good.“ following the first time listening to Stairway to Heaven.

I could understand if they were as old as me or the guitar store owners, and heard it so many times that they were sick of it, but the first time???

The first time is like an existential experience! It’s like being able to hear actual music for the first time!

And I get a, “Yeah, it was good.”???

From my kids who love rock music???

It’s. Just. Plain. WRONG.

It almost ended in a fistfight in my driveway when I said it’s the greatest rock song of all time — next to Bohemian Rhapsody.

My eldest got very upset and shouted, “What?? That song is no where near Bohemian Rhapsody! It can’t even stand next to it!!” Are you kidding??!!”

(We didn’t come to blows, but I could definitely take him.)

PJ asked what was going on, and because he’s as much of a fountain of useless information as I, he chimed in with the fact that Bohemian Rhapsody was originally titled, “Mongolian Rhapsody” and there’s an actual piece of British Midland Airways paper in which Freddie Mercury wrote it and crossed out, replacing it with “Bohemian” instead.

I love my family 😂💕❤️🤘