I was going to run for the Board of Education this year. I decided not to.

There was a meeting in November. November 17 to be exact. One day before my 45th birthday.

It was an aggravating meeting. It got me agitated. There was one woman in particular who poked the bear.

She was so awful that I was yelling at her from the audience.

I was angry because this woman was elected by the people and yet she had zero respect for the people unless they were worshipping at her feet.

That ain’t me, babe.

So I decided to run against her.

If I won, I won. If I lost, I lost. I didn’t care either way.

But that’s the thing, I think a person should care – so I’m not going to run.

I meant what I wrote in that last paragraph. This isn’t a – ‘I know I can’t win so I’m not going to put my hat in the ring’ situation.

I’d be thinking that if I were you.

I dreamt about it all of last night and when I woke, my fingers were burning to get it out – to finalize my decision by writing about it. And it feels so good.

I wasn’t letting myself realize that since mid-December, I was bored with the idea. I figured I was just tired from the holidays and would be refreshed and ready to go when they were over.

But I’m still tired and still bored with the idea.

For a moment I was worried about all the grand statements I made.

For a moment I was worried about saving face, but decided I don’t care how I look.

In fact, it was worse feeling like a virtue-signaling fraud than someone who really wanted to fight the good fight.

The #1 thing I always need to be is true to myself. And when something I’m about to take on feels disingenuous to my soul, it’s got to go.

It’s why I got out of real estate.

I really don’t like most people, and having to be cordial and put on a fake smile all the time… oh my Lord I wanted to crawl out of my skin.

That would’ve been me at those Board of Ed meetings. It kind of makes me understand why the shrew who’s there now acts the way she does. Maybe she was beaten down by a thankless society.

So the paperwork that’s been typed up and sitting next to my printer will go in the trash today.

The checking account I opened for campaign funds will be closed.

I just don’t care enough.

It’s not that I don’t care about the students or the teachers. It’s that I don’t care enough to fight a rigged and broken system.

If I did get into office, I might have a small win along the way, but selfishly, those wins aren’t big enough to take me away from my family in any way.

In a recent post I wrote about life being too short. God, it really is. I don’t want to waste it on political bullshit. Especially since my main goal was ousting that horror show who’s currently filling the position. My heart was definitely not in the right place.

Unfortunately, the way our world is right now, she will probably be voted in again because more people are like her than not.

Let her find her joy in the battle; feeling victorious for her wins against the people that she will inevitably have.

I watched Jackie Brown for the first time yesterday. Quentin Tarantino is my favorite director and I never saw Jackie Brown. Can you believe that?

It was awesome. Samuel L. Jackson’s hair had me obsessed. Pam Grier is a fucking goddess.

I’m not cut out to be a political figure. I’m a QT-loving, 1010 playing, McDonald’s eating, family-loving, lazy-when-I-wanna-be bitch.

I decided for 2022, I’m going to continue to stay true to myself. And like something Sam Jackson would say — I’m gonna do exactly what I mother-fuckin’ wanna do.

Board of Education? That ain’t me, babe.