I just woke up in a cold sweat because I dreamt I was working at my old job – an environment in which sexual harassment ran rampant.

In said dream, I was the assistant for a higher up who had a folder on his computer desktop that was specifically for his favorite pornography. (True story, bro. It was a well-known fact.) Creepy doesn’t even begin to describe this guy.

When you hear workplace harassment stories, believe them – it’s probably true.

At this job in real life, I was a younger, much different version of myself. If what I’m about to tell you happened today, the story would have ended much differently.

I was sitting at my desk with my back to the door. My hair was straight and down to the middle of my back. I was typing away on my keyboard when suddenly, a single finger swiped through my hair from one shoulder to the other.

My first thought was that it was one of my close friends at the job, but even then, it felt weird that anyone would touch me like that.

I swung around, nervously laughing, still thinking it was my friend. Instead it was a 50-something year old man I barely knew.

I was so caught off guard that I didn’t know what to say (that’s how this story would have ended differently, because now, I know exactly what the fuck I would’ve said.) Instead, I let him know I was uncomfortable by the way I acted. He eventually got the hint and left me alone.

I contemplated going to HR, but knowing that so many people in that toxic place got away with things like porn folders on their computer desktops, well, it seemed kind of futile.

I mean, all he did was touch my back with his finger; he didn’t do anything wrong, right? He probably didn’t mean anything, he was probably just trying to get my attention, right? I shouldn’t have made a big deal about it, right?

Wrong. Wrong. So much wrong.

Wronger than Mia Wallace when she found that baggie in Vincent Vega’s pocket. Wronger than Cersei and Jaimie Lannister’s relationship. Wronger than that “very special” bike shop episode of Diff’rent Strokes.

The reason I know it’s WRONG is because 20+ years later I’m still skeeved out by the thought of his Skeletor finger going across my back. I hate that this loathsome creature knows what my hair feels like.

But imagine getting up in a court of law and saying – I know this man is guilty because one time he ran his finger along my back and through my hair.

You can’t. People would roll their eyes and laugh you out of the room. They would say you’re being overly-sensitive. They’d say that maybe it was a slight misstep in judgement, but he didn’t really do anything wrong.

20+ years later and I still know what I felt like that day. So do me a favor and err on the side of caution – keep your hands to yourself. Trust me, I’m sure that person in a lesser position than you doesn’t really want a shoulder massage.

Also worth noting: some people ARE NOT HUGGERS. You might be, but again, trust me, as much as you love hugging, people who are NOT huggers have the same level of feelings about it, but in the polar opposite direction.

In my dream, the porn file guy didn’t do anything bad, but just being in that situation again made me really uneasy.

I’m happy I had the dream though. It made me realize a New Year’s resolution I hadn’t made yet: To not, ever again, stay in a situation that makes me uncomfortable or unhappy if there’s a way out. And if there isn’t a way out, I need to get to work finding a way out. Nothing is worth your peace of mind.