Merry Christmas!

Thanks, you too!

Happy Hanukkah!

Thanks, you too.

Happy Kwanzaa!

Thanks, you too!

Happy Ramadan!

This one requires fasting so I’m not sure how happy I’d be but – thanks, you too!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

If you’re offended by this, you’re just a straight up psycho because it’s a well-known fact that everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day so … thanks, you too!

It’s not difficult. Don’t overthink it. No one is trying to attack you. They’re wishing you happiness – just say thank you!

Whomever or whatever group has drilled into your head that someone sending you good wishes is actually a bad thing because it doesn’t pertain to what you celebrate, well, I can’t help but think that it’s because they have an agenda. THEY are the problem.

If someone wishes you a happy Carrot Cake Day (February 3rd), do you say, “I don’t like carrot cake.” or “I’m not a carrot cake. I’m offended!”?

On March 14th when someone wishes me a happy Pi Day, I don’t say, “Meh meh meh don’t wish me that. I hate math.” I say, “Haha, thanks, you too!” and then I sit there like Joey Tribbiani while my brain burns as I try to understand Pi.

I don’t consider it an attack because I was in remedial math classes all my life and probably have an undiagnosed disability when it comes to anything involving numbers; I just say thank you.

If you think someone wished you a “Happy Holidays” because they’re purposely trying to offend you by not mentioning the one you celebrate, you may need some remedial classes in understanding egocentricity. *Whispers* it’s not all about you and your religion 🤫

So happy Go Caroling Day! And happy Sangria Day! (Both celebrated today, 12/20).

I hope I didn’t offend anyone by wishing you happiness on a day that celebrates annoying strangers knocking on your door and forcing you to get up from your cozy couch so you can stare at them awkwardly as they sing to you and you pray it will soon be over; and I hope I didn’t make anyone angry by telling you to celebrate the brilliant idea of adding fruit to wine.

Just say ‘thank you’.