At bedtime last night I came upstairs to see PJ and my oldest son holding hands on his bed. From afar it just looked like a sweet moment, but there was actually a reason for it.

It turns out they had a bet going that if PJ could lift his hand off the bed while my son, (who I’ve witnessed have animal teenage strength), held it down with 2 hands, he would have to tell us something about “a friend” he talks to. If he couldn’t lift it, PJ would have to tell him the secret present we’re getting him for Christmas.

Well he lifted his arm like there was a feather on it.

My son tried again with all his strength.

This time PJ lifted his arm like there was maybe 10 lbs. on it.

He gave my son another chance by letting him hold down his weaker arm.

Once again, he lifted it in less than a second.

I know I’m always bragging about how PJ is a non-tough tough guy, but I can’t help it because it’s the coolest thing about him.

When Harry Styles wore a dress on the cover of Vogue recently, Candace Owens said that the world needs to “Bring back manly men.”

I’m not saying I want PJ to start wearing dresses, but I also don’t want him to be what is most likely Owens’ definition of a “manly man”.

I prefer a man who’s got quiet strength on demand if he needs it, and doesn’t walk around like a meathead talking about how he’s going to kick everyone’s ass.

I prefer a man who hates guns and wishes there would be more restrictions on owning them.

I prefer someone who wants to see Pete Buttigieg, a gay man, in Biden’s cabinet. Not only because he’s unthreatened by another man’s sexuality that differs from his own, but because he’s smart enough to know that a Harvard-educated Rhodes Scholar and former military man is well-suited for the job.

I prefer a man whose favorite thing to do is cook for his family on Sundays and watch his Giants play.

I prefer a man who makes noises like he’s exerting himself while helping me move a light piece of furniture because he knows it makes me laugh.

I prefer a man who gave up his occasional cigar smoking habit because his son was worried about him and asked him to.

I prefer a man who is secure enough to do what he wants and does not succumb to what society tells him to do.

I prefer someone who doesn’t give 2 shits if men want to wear dresses.

As for my opinion, many of the men I’ve admired and swooned over have rocked a dress. Kurt Cobain, Post Malone, and yes, Harry Styles (Um have you heard Watermelon Sugar 🍉 🤤) to name a few.

David Bowie blurred the lines of “masculinity” long before anyone else, and I’d never tell him, “Go away, I need a manly man!” I mean, hellooo, it’s David fucking Bowie. RIP 🙏

Back to the bet. I was shocked that my son didn’t welch and actually gave us a smidge of info. It wasn’t anything significant, but it was more than he’d ever given us before.

This is a prime example of how PJ has already taught our son to be a stand up person with his own actions: Respect women, be a gentleman, and keep your word. In the future, I’m sure we can add ‘only use your muscle when necessary’ to the list.

I’ll never stop bragging about my “manly man”. Especially when there are twits like Candace Owens in the world telling men how they “should” be acting 🙄