Do you ever look at an angry person mouthing off and ask why? Even if you asked, their pride isn’t going to allow them to tell the truth. They’ll probably hide behind their bravado and use empty, baseless phrases along the lines of:

He’s an animal!

She’s a racist!

He’s a snowflake!

She’s a moron!

This is why nothing ever gets accomplished. I love clearing the air; getting to the root of a problem. Right now it appears that no one cares about WHAT’S right, they just want to BE right.

But if we all dug a little deeper and had real conversations about why everyone is so angry, I think we could solve a lot of problems. It sounds impossible. Especially on social media platforms where people get off on looking smarter than everyone else and having a gotcha! mentality, but it is possible.

I feel like the best way to get to the root of the most pressing issues right now is by asking this question:

What happened to you to make you feel this way?

Right now I’m tired and my back hurts. I sat in the same chair all day and stared at a computer. Can someone come along and tell me my back doesn’t hurt? No. Can someone tell me I didn’t sit at my computer all day and that’s what’s causing my back to hurt? No. It’s MY feelings. No one can change that.

You may be jumping to conclusions that I’m only talking about black people’s feelings because I’ve been vocal about supporting Black Lives Matter. I’m not.

I’m talking about everyone’s feelings.

I’ve seen some very heated posts on Facebook lately. Really long threads with a bunch of “I’m right, you’re wrong, here’s why.”

But what I’ve yet to see is someone saying, “What happened to YOU for you to form that opinion about an entire race of people?”

Maybe something was done to them or their loved one and it now skews how that person feels about an entire race/religion/sexual orientation/gender. It’s hard to use logic when you’re hurt and angry. But we MUST rise above that feeling and learn to make decisions on an individual basis.

Don’t think of the things that your friends, parents, or grandparents may have drilled into your mind about other races/religions/sexual orientation/gender, etc. – try to change your thinking to:

“I know I was raised like this, but I have a neighbor with that same skin color/religion/sexual orientation/gender, etc. that my family thought were so bad and they’re great people. I’m going to remember that when I hear others make blanket statements about (fill in the blank).

Or

“I was bullied by this person in school. I was so angry that I associated every other person who has that skin color/religion/sexual orientation/gender, etc. as a horrible person. I’m so glad I met my co-worker who has proven to me that not every person with the same (fill in the blank) is that way.”

And then think of that person when you’re about to spout off about what you think is right and what you think is wrong.

Think of how hurt that person would be if they thought you viewed them in a negative light. Be kinder to one another. Put yourself in other peoples’ shoes.

I know this all sounds so trite. That it can’t be that simple. I think it can be. Just give everyone a chance. There are definitely going to be jerks out there no matter what their race/religion/sexual orientation/gender, etc. but learn to base your opinion on how you feel after getting to know them.

And on the flip side, try to see where people are coming from when their actions are absolutely mind-boggling to you. I’m sure there’s a reason. Maybe ask them why? It will benefit you both if you could come to the common denominator that we’re all humans who base our feelings on experiences.

Or don’t, and just keep wasting your time on Facebook showing everyone how right you are and how wrong they are 👍