I’m going through some, shall we say, unsavory times with my teenage son right now. I can’t go into detail because, like I’ve said before, I don’t care about embarrassing myself or oversharing my experiences, but it’s not my place to do it for others. But I did feel the need to shed some light on a few aspects of the drama.

First things first: when they act up, stand your ground, but make sure you continue to show how much you love them. I’ve learned in my old age that people do not respond well to hateful, militant behavior from those in control. Do what you have to do but make sure at the end of it all, you let them know that you love them and you have their back.

Secondly: like Lenny in Of Mice and Men, if you squeeze too hard on something you love, you’re going to smother it to death. This goes for your kids too. I know it’s scary to let them go and experience the world, but you must let them. Keeping them under lock and key to keep them in line, is only going to harm them in the future. If you don’t give your kids a little freedom when you still have a watchful eye over them, they will go buck wild when you’re not around anymore. It’s always worse if you don’t willingly let them dip a toe in the waters sometimes.

Thirdly: watch how you judge others. I’ve learned from my high horse that you really don’t know all the things your kids are doing. You might be condemning others for how their child behaves while yours is doing their own problematic things. You too may be eating a giant piece of unsavory humble pie in the future, so you might want to get down from that soap box right about now.

Four: it’s not that serious. Teens are going to act out. It’s human nature. Some of you didn’t grow up in North Babylon, NY in the nineties and it shows. What did you do when you were growing up? Knit on your momma’s couch every Saturday night? Calm down.