My dad told me yesterday that the only thing he sees when he goes to my pod is the one from Mother’s Day.

I deciphered his “Pa-speak” to mean that he thinks his phone is acting up because he keeps seeing the same post when he goes to my site.

When I set up his homepage, he requested very specific apps and links and NOTHING ELSE (hands making a karate-chop motion in the air.)

They are: his banking app, his stocks app, a chess game, solitaire, the Shutterfly link to old photos, and the link to my BLOG (not pod).

To get a reaction, I asked if he wanted Facebook.

“NO, just those things, in that order!”

“You don’t want Instagram?”

“NO! Just those things in that order!”

“What about Tik Tok?”

“NO! What is that?? NO! Just those things in that order!!”

(Karate-chopping the air the whole time.)

The man knows what he wants.

If you’re wondering – YES, I am extremely proud to be part of his elite homepage club!

He informed me that every day he checks his stocks, then banking, then my blog. He thought the link was broken because he usually gets a new one every week or so, and the last was from Mother’s Day.

I said I haven’t been inspired to write lately.

(Truth be told, I was starting to get sick of myself, so I figured others were too. But not my Pa. I’m pretty damn lucky, aren’t I? 🥰)

He said that since I have that guy (points to PJ), I have a never ending well to draw from when it comes to stories.

And you know what? He’s right! So here’s one from when we were just married and moved to North Carolina.

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Eighteen years ago, while PJ and I were having our first house built, we lived in a 3 story walk-up apartment complex; kind of like on Melrose Place where your door opens to the outside and you could see people going to their apartments on all levels.

One day, we were lying on the couch and there was a knock on the door. When PJ answered, it was this hot girl holding a container of frozen chicken cutlets. She said her microwave broke and asked if she could use his to defrost the cutlets.

(I swear this is a true story and not the beginning of a porno.)

Then she looked past him and saw me on the couch. It was pretty obvious she wanted to die.

This poor girl must have seen PJ at the complex and thought he was single (or she was just a hoe because he does wear a wedding ring) and decided to shoot her shot. I must say … the frozen chicken cutlet/broken microwave scheme is pretty ingenious.

She did the 15 ft. walk of shame past me to the kitchen and it must have felt like The Green Mile.

I did not conversate with her. I stayed on the couch and watched like, “You better hope P.C. Richard’s is running a sale on microwaves because this is the first and last time you’re doing this.”

I teased the shit out of PJ after that.

Of course I told my parents what happened so they could tease the shit out of him too.

Pa promptly dubbed him “The Love Muffin” and it stuck ever since.

Other nicknames he has gotten from my family are: Little Bro (Teara), Uncle Jammies (my nephews), Peej (Pa & Christian), Pain in the Ass (Lol), Peejy Weejy (Biffer) … but nothing tops The Love Muffin!!! ♥️ 🥮