This is a reminder that with every daylight savings, you should change out the old smoke alarm batteries with new ones.

Why am I offering up this valuable piece of advice at 4:47am, you ask? Well, it’s because one of mine started chirping about a half hour ago and woke me up.

All the other fools in my house slept right through it. Not me. I tried. But after the 5th angry, high-pitched TWEET! I knew my attempts at going back to sleep would be fruitless. ZZZs were not meant to be this evening. I didn’t fall asleep until 2:30, and here I am awake not even 3 hours later.

I must say though, I’m feeling very accomplished. I think this is the first time in 20 years that I didn’t wake PJ up to change the battery – I did it myself!!!!

Who needs a man? Not me!

Lucky for him I like having him around.

Speaking of… he and I have been having this morbid (but actually really funny) banter about what we’d do if either of us died.

It started one day when I graciously said to him that if I were to die, I’d want him to find happiness and get married again.

His response, “Nope. Too much work. This is it.” (He pretty much turned into David Puddy in that moment.)

I was shocked! I thought I was being quite benevolent by giving him my blessing.

And his answer… Not, ‘I love you so much, no one could ever replace you.’

Not, ‘I’d be too sad, I couldn’t go on without you.’

No, my romantic romancer straight up said that I, and all women, are too much work.

Reading between the lines, I knew this meant he’d much rather perfect his Madden game or watch The DaVinci Code for the 700th time than have to exert himself and go on a dating app and then (gasp!) go on dates with us annoying women to find love again. (Why am I picturing him standing before a crowd of tired-looking men shouting, “Can I get an amen?!” and then all the men nodding their heads in agreement?)

So I said, “Well I don’t want to be alone. If you die, I’m going to get married again.”

His reply, “You better not. I’ll come back and haunt you.”

I gave him all the reasons why I should be able to get married again but he didn’t care.

Finally I said, “Ok, I won’t get married again, I’ll just hoe around every night with a different guy.”

Him: “The boys would be mad if you did that.”

Me: “Well obviously I’m not going to tell the boys that I’m hoeing around, I’m just going to hoe around.”🙄🙄

I forget if he responded after that but I’m sure he doesn’t like that option either.

Ok I’m finished now. This is the quality blog you get when I have no sleep. Hope you have a good one… my day is gonna suck.