When I was in college and had to choose a major, I thought, “I really like advertising. I think that’s the degree I’ll go for.”

I always loved ads and commercials. I’d even make jingles for my own life (you may recall the Sizzler steakhouse banger I told you about in a previous blog).

Even the TV shows I watched involved advertising.

Mad Men is my favorite of all time. It’s just sooo gooood. Not only because Don Draper made my heart melt in every episode, but because when he or Peggy Olson pitched a winning idea, ughhhh I could just feel that glory for them.

And while growing up, I thought Angela Bower was at her absolute best when donning a power suit and telling Tony Miceli about her day at the Wallace & McQuade advertising agency. Who’s The Boss?, you ask? Ummm…it’s Angelerrrrr… in every way shape and form. Obviously.

One day, my professor, who also happened to work at an ad agency, said that we should really consider if we wanted a career in advertising. According to him, it was very demanding and sometimes, when trying to meet a deadline, you might even sleep at the office.

Um, excuse me? What did you just say? Work, like, 24 hours straight? Take a cat nap on the couch then get back to work type thing? Yeah, no. As Johnny Paycheck (that’s his name, I just googled it) sang, Take This Job and Shove It.

I. AM. OUT.

So I took the easier route and got my degree in Marketing instead.

However, I still had to continue with this class. One of our assignments was to create a campaign for “Amalgamated Vegetables”.

Quite easily, I must say, I came up with the idea of mixed frozen vegetables in a bag. The instructions were to throw them in a pan with chicken, and violá – dinner is served! That day, Chicken Viola! was born.

I know what you’re thinking, “Oh Tiffy, you silly, silly girl. Chicken Viola! has been around forever! You got that idea from your local supermarket!”

WRONG!

That MOTHER FUCKER professor/ADVERTISINGGG EXECUTIVEEE (!!!) stole MY idea.

I bet he had a deadline and he had to work 24 hours and he had to take cat naps in the office and was getting desperate, so who better to prey on than the young fresh minds of his students?!

This was around 1995 and you bet your bippy I looked into when Chicken Viola! came on the market, and… Well whatta ya know? It was not even a year later.

To this day, when I go to any supermarket freezer section, it burns my ass to see the whole line of Violas! on the shelves. (Yes, he even stole the name.)

I forget why, but PJ brought up my Chicken Viola! saga yesterday. He was probably bored and wanted to see me get fired up.

After reiterating the entire story for probably the 204th time in my life, PJ said, “You know, things could have been very different for you. You could’ve been rich and famous and married to Leonard DiCaprio.”

First, I informed him that Leo does not marry. He dates women for 2 years then dumps them. Then, I pointed out that I’m too old and too short for him anyway. But then I told him the most important part: I may have never met him and had our little baby boobahs if Chicken Viola! made me rich and famous.

Although he was horribly wrong and should be in prison (!) – that professor did me a favor.

I heard Fred Armisen once say in an interview that he doesn’t get disappointed if something doesn’t work out. He believes it doesn’t happen because it wasn’t supposed to happen. This stuck with me. Now I try to think that way all the time. It really takes the edge off when something sucky happens, like when your predatory college professor steals your million dollar idea… or something like that.