I know Mother’s Day can be a painful time for a lot of people, so here’s my attempt at making you laugh.

I don’t even know what I’m going to write about yet. I’m still dredging my mind for a funny or embarrassing memory to tell you about.

While I’m thinking, I just want you to know that it’s ok to feel bitter today.

It’s ok to feel like the world is unfair.

It’s ok to say “fuck you” in your head as you scroll through Facebook as people like me wax poetic about how much they love their moms who are still here with them.

It’s ok to think “fuck you” to the people in family photos with kids you want but don’t have. Truth be told, a lot of those families don’t deserve the children they have, so I’ll join you in a big old “fuck you” to them too.

Ok I’m starting to get negative now. Let me think of that funny and/or embarrassing memory to make you laugh instead of going through your day crying and thinking “fuck you” to everyone. Hold please…

Ok here it goes. When I was in 2nd grade, I was sitting next to a kid named Philip who I had a love/hate relationship with. Teara 100% hated him because he called her “Tara the Parrot.” In retrospect, she could’ve just said, “Tara and Parrot don’t even rhyme you little moron.” and that would’ve been the end of that. I was boy crazy even in 2nd grade so I dug his little black bowl hair cut, but knew he was a pain in the ass.

Anyway… speaking of asses… I did an SBD (silent but deadly), and tried to blame him (nice segue if I do say so myself).

He wasn’t falling for it, and said he knew it was me. It was futile to argue with him so I just gave up. Luckily it was only between us and not the entire class (the argument and the smell).

I wish I could tell you that was the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me but, alas, it’s not. Maybe one day I’ll be brave, stupid, or carefree enough to tell you the really embarrassing stuff.

I hope this gave you a little chuckle and I hope you have peace in your heart today ♥️