Oooweee some hardcore feminists are gonna want to strangle me with my own Fallopian tubes, but let me explain.

I felt really guilty that this has been my opinion when, for the past few years, a woman would sometimes call the game in place of my beloved Gare (Gary Cohen), Keith (Keith Hernandez), and Ronnie (Ron Darling).

It was as though I was betraying my own gender for feeling this way.

But last night, when Apple TV+ hosted the Mets/Nationals game, my guilt disappeared.

I realized that it wasn’t because the announcers were women, it’s because they were unbearably ANNOYING women.

I kept falling in and out of sleep and every time I woke up, one of them was being silly. At one point she was talking about how she named all her lizards Lenny Dyksta when she was a kid.

THIS was the exact moment my guilt started to diminish.

See, I could picture Keith Hernandez filling air time by telling the exact same story, and I’d laugh my ass off.

I mean, Lenny Dykstra is one of the greatest center fielders of all time – why not name your lizards after him?

But the way this woman told the story was so childish and giddy that I couldn’t help feeling like she named them that because Dykstra was hot. (Which he was. Teara had the NAILS poster on her closet door and I’d stare and drool over it.)

Now, some would argue that I am the giggliest and most childish woman of all time, and I wouldn’t disagree, but I’m also not trying to forge a career as a professional baseball announcer.

After the final rain delay, PJ woke me up to go to bed. He informed me that during the game, one of these female fools started talking about The Gilmore Girls.

Seriously?

I need some more context to solidify this opinion, but come onnn… Gilmore Girls? During a baseball game?

I shouldn’t have ever felt ashamed for my thoughts because my reasoning is not because they’re women, it’s because they are irritating women.

Back in the day, no one annoyed me more than the Mets announcer, Fran Healy. He was friggin awful.

NFL announcer Michael Irvin is one of our favorites to make fun of during Giants games.

Mike Francesa of WFAN is the guy everyone loves to hate (and some of the best comical fodder for The Howard Stern Show phony phone calls.)

I never should’ve felt guilty for my anti-feminism thoughts, because hearing the NFL’s Erin Andrews, Pam Oliver, or Suzy Kolber (who famously and graciously handled herself when a drunk Joe Namath said he wanted to kiss her while she was interviewing him on the sidelines), never made me want to rip my own ears off.

It’s because they are professionals. This new wave of giddy women who have been thrown in because of the #METOO movement or for the sake of just having women there, are not only not cutting it, they’re probably driving fans away.

I should change the title of this blog to “When it comes to announcing, let’s stick to professional men and women, mmmkay?” but then only 1/2 the people will actually read it 😜 #clickbait