I’ve suffered from eczema since I was in, I’d say, 4th grade.

It would show up mostly in the crook of my arm and sometimes on my neck. Never really that bad though.

As I got older it would come and go, but about 16 years ago, when PJ and I got married and moved to NC, I started getting really bad flares on my face.

With no doctor that I was familiar with, and no insurance, I chose the first one that came up in a search.

For $100 a pop, she’d shoot me up with prednisone and the rash would magically disappear.

In the following months, I did this about 5 more times until I discovered that too much prednisone could cause early onset osteoporosis.

I said, “Um, what the fuck?” And never went to that “doctor” again.

Fast forward through 16 years of trial and error, including: dermatologist visits, expensive creams and ointments, embarrassing rashes … alllll the fun of eczema.

Recently it got really really bad. I stopped using some new beauty products that I suspect caused the major flare, but I still want to know why it always seems to be hanging around. I decided to become very serious about finding the causes.

Even though I’d had a prick test years ago and don’t remember there being any hard evidence (pardon the pun that last sentence devolved into 🤣), I decided to try again.

The test came back with several food allergies and a big reaction to dust mites.

The doctor explained that I need to pay close attention to my bedroom surroundings and handed me a brochure with a gigantic, disgusting dust mite on the cover.

BTW, This type of predatory advertising is some serious bullshit. The picture has got to be blown up like 70,000,000,000 times because dust mites are literally microscopic. They don’t even bite, but this sucker looks like it’s going to swallow you whole while you’re sleeping. This kind of advertising preys on vulnerable people so they get scared and buy the expensive shit they’re shilling.

And it works.

I immediately ordered a top of the line allergen pillow cover. I took the brochure’s advice and decided to get rid of all my throw pillows. I considered how much it would cost to rip out the carpeting and replace it with hardwoods (expensive, but at this point, I’m willing to throw PJ out if it means relief.)

I’m going to do whatever it takes.

Well it’s been 2 days since I got my results back and I just woke up thinking about it all.

As I lay here all snuggy, the house is quiet except for PJ snoring lightly next to me; my Pound Puppy, Potamkin, tucked under my arm … you know … the Pound Puppy I’ve mentioned here before … the one I’ve had since 4th grade when Lol brought me and Teara to Toys ‘R’ Us to “adopt” him and bring him home in his cardboard carrier … you know … the stuffed dog that I’ve had to perform multiple surgeries on because he is falling apart at the seams … the one who is so delicate that I dare not put him in the wash except for mayyybeee 6 times in the last 37 years. Yeah that one. The one that is tucked into the crook of my left arm EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. and his head rests right under my chin … the 2 places my eczema flares up the most.

Sorry, I went off on a tangent there. Back to the subject …

I’m still trying to figure out what causes my eczema. Let’s hope I don’t discover that PJ has to go.