When I find a good hack, I love to share.

When I share a good hack that helps other people who hate cooking as much as I do, well, I feel like I just gained my angel wings.

So here it goes.

What’s better than Thanksgiving? Nothing. Don’t even try to fight me on this because I will win.

The numero uno highlight of this glorious holiday is obviously the food (the Rockettes kickline moment in the parade is a close second 👯‍♀️👯‍♀️👯‍♀️👯‍♀️👯👯‍♀️).

But what does one do when they have a hankerin’ for a Monica Gellar-Bing Moist-Maker sandwich when they don’t want to roast a turkey for 10 hours?

Well, with my help, you can achieve the same – possible even better – results in under 20 minutes with the following ingredients:

– Boar’s Head Honey Turkey cold cuts.

You could also use Boar’s Head Ovengold Turkey, but since “regular” flavor grosses PJ out (weirdo) I use the honey flavor. 🚨 Stay away from Sausalito because it throws off the whole thing. (Cooking time: 0 minutes)

– White bread.

I prefer Nature’s Own Butter Bread, but any white bread will do. I like wheat bread but I feel like this meal needs good old white bread. Last weekend I got fancy and made Pillsbury Grands “layers” biscuits. (Cooking time: Bread – 0. Biscuits: 15 minutes and you have to dirty a sheet pan so just do yourself a favor and use bread because it’s just as good.)

– Canned Oceanspray Cranberry Sauce.

I thought I’d prefer the whole berry kind, but found that the gelatinous version – can ridges and all – tastes sweeter. (Cook time: 0 – unless you have an idiot can opener like mine that takes 7 tries and a lot of cursing on my part before it does it’s damn job.)

– Idahoan instant mashed potatoes in a bag.

It’s very rare that I get a free sample from Harris Teeter and actually end up buying the product, but I was pleasantly surprised by these mashed potatoes! They are delicious!! All you have to do is heat up a bowl of water in the microwave, dump the bag in, and stir. No measuring! You don’t even need extra butter! (Cook time: 5 microwave minutes of heating water in a bowl. Even I can do that without screwing it up.)

– Heinz Homestyle Turkey Gravy. Open jar. Pour in bowl. Cover. Heat in microwave. (Cook time: 3 minutes. 6 minutes if you need 2 jars for 5 hungry savages who would drink gravy with a straw if allowed.)

– Sliced or chopped raw onions to sprinkle on top. This gives it a nice kick, but as I’m writing this, I’m wondering why I never thought of French’s Crispy Onions! It’s such an obvious choice 🤦🏻‍♀️

And finally, the pièce de ré·sis·tance …

– Stove Top Stuffing.

You can’t mess around with the flavors on this either. The savory herb version threw it all off, so I made cornbread flavor last time. It was bomb. Yes, I know people don’t use that term anymore but there’s no other way to explain it. Bomb. Bomb. Bomb. 💣

Unfortunately for me, my youngest did not like the cornbread flavor, so sadly I will be purchasing turkey flavor next time because there’s no way I’m dirtying 2 pots for 2 different flavors of stuffing.

This is the one thing I cook on the stove. I could also make this in the microwave, but it’s already being used for the gravy and mashed potatoes and I like for everything to come out at the same time.

Everything goes on the counter and we all serve ourselves. Sometimes I’m nice and will make plates up if asked.

This is how it’s assembled:

– Two pieces of bread (or toast) side by side on plate (We’re doing open-faced sandwiches … keep up.)

– a few slices of turkey on top of bread

– 2 scoops of mashed potatoes on top of turkey, smashed down with spoon

– several big spoonfuls of gravy on mashed potatoes

– 2 huge scoops of stuffing on top of gravy

– onions sprinkled on top

– cranberry sauce – 1 slice on each side of sandwich.

Even if you think you don’t like cranberry sauce, you need to give it a try. The sweet-tartness gives a fresh little reprieve from all the other rich flavors.

Salt and pepper all over everything.

When finished, it should look like a giant mound of food because that’s what it is, and IT. IS. AMAZING.

All the dirty dishes and the 1 pot go in the dishwasher.

Total cook (heating up) time: 10 or 11 minutes depending on how many microwaves you have.

Total calories: A million, but so worth it.

I think I hear a bell ringing… 🔔 👼