I love Taylor Swift.

Her songs are so good and always have been, but I really began to respect her when she wrote Shake It Off.

Why? Because the players really are always gonna play play play…

And the haters are always gonna hate hate hate…

And she just keeps…

🎶 cruisin’… can’t stop won’t stop moving. It’s like I got this music in my mind
Saying it’s gonna be alright 🎶

Get it girl. Get it.

Why care what someone else thinks of you just because you’re out there doing it and they’re not? Like the song says, haters are gonna hate hate hate hate hate.

To paraphrase my favorite Teddy Roosevelt speech, The Man in the Arena: it’s the people sitting and whining about what others are or aren’t doing who should be ashamed, not the ones who are out there going for it, failing, and getting up again. They should be proud – because they’re trying.

Don’t worry about some jealous manipulator twisting what you’re doing because they wish they were doing it.

And then there are the fakers. As Tay Tay sings 🎶 The fakers gonna fake fake fake fake fake 🎶

Traditional fakers are people who pretend their lives are ahhh-MAZING. They try extremely hard to portray an image of perfection.

Those poor souls usually just have deep-rooted insecurity and are only harmful to themselves. It’s sad, but you don’t really need to watch your back with them.

It’s the other fakers out there you need to worry about.

The ones who pretend they’re benevolent. The ones who make themselves out to be martyrs. Fakers who have convinced themselves and others that they’re so kind, when really, they’re not. A couple of not so deep scratches beyond the surface and it’s plain to see.

They are extremely judgey, and needy, and if you don’t give them what they want they find thinly-veiled ways to let you know that you did wrong.

They manipulate you with how they say it. They choose their words very carefully so you don’t even know you’re being manipulated. Then they zero in with the guilt – that’s how they seal the deal to get what they want.

These are the fakers you need to watch out for.

The only criticism I have for T. Swifty’s near-perfect song is that she should’ve included a part about: The Takers.

The Takers like to take take take take take.

They are manipulative like the fakers. They tell the world how much they do for everyone but no one everrr does anything for them. Wah. Wah 😭

If you’ve ever uttered the phrase, “I do so much for everyone and no one ever does anything for me.” Sorry honey bun, but you’re most likely the problem.

Benevolence is not keeping score. It’s doing things because you ARE kind and want to BE kind. It’s not about everyone saying, “She does so much for everyone, now let me return the favor for her because she deserves it.” That’s not the way true generosity works.

Instead of crying about how you do so much for everyone else and no one returns the favor – why not just stop doing “so much” for everyone and take care of yourself then? Done. Now shhhh.

Here, hold this mirror for a sec and take a good look. Repeat after me: No one owes me anything.

But also remember, if you start practicing kindness without your scorecard and pencil in hand, and then couple it with some gratitude – maybe the people in your life will open their arms to you – not because they feel like they have to, but because they want to.