As we were cleaning up dinner last night, PJ asked what we should do for New Year’s Eve: make a bunch of hors d’oeuvres (yes that’s really how it’s spelled, I copied & pasted it) or get take-out?

It was a no-brainer for me (duh, take-out), but being that he suggested it, I figured he had thoughts on the subject, so I said, “Whatever you want to do, I don’t care.” He couldn’t decide so I said, “Let’s take a vote.”

My middle son, who was standing there the whole time, didn’t even let him finish the sentence before saying, “take-out”.

PJ began calling the other boys and I said not to bother because they’re going to want take-out too.

Don’t get me wrong – I could eat spanakopita triangles, pigs in blankets (the only time I can bring myself to eat a hot dog – blech 😝), and whatever kind of meat is in those puff pastries from Costco all day, everyday, but why make the holiday harder than it needs to be?

Why make anything harder than it needs to be?

If this pandemic has done nothing else, it’s taught me that life is fleeting and precious, and the time we have on Earth should be spent doing things we love with people we enjoy being with. Luckily I like my family, so I’m set.

Many months ago, my youngest son drew a picture of a pig and a house and wrote, “Not everything has to be so hard.” I hung it on my bulletin board and look at it every day. The words strike me as so simple yet so true.

How many people broke their backs to bake cookies for Christmas this year? Did you do it because you love to bake or because you felt like you had to?

How many people stayed awake at night wondering if they got every single thing their child wanted for Christmas? Was it because you were afraid of disappointing them?

How many people went through several steps to create the perfect Christmas card? Did you feel a tremendous sense of relief once you put them in the mail and they were off your proverbial plate?

Repeat after me: Not everything has to be so hard.

If you read my blog regularly, you’re probably not surprised at anything I’m writing because I always talk about making things as easy as possible.

But I wasn’t always like this. All the things mentioned above are situations I could relate to because I was the same way. (Except for the baking. You can replace that one with going crazy to find someone the perfect gift.)

It might sound like I’m saying you shouldn’t go out of your way for the people you love, but that’s not it.

The cookies. Lol does this every year. She hurts her little body to make 79 tons of cookies. Yes, they are delicious, and I understand this is how she shows her love, but I’d be so much happier if next year she said she was going to give herself a break, relax, and enjoy the season.

The lying awake worrying about the presents. One of my sons has always been grateful and appreciative no matter what he gets. My other son is on the opposite end of the spectrum and is never satisfied with anything. He gets one thing then is on to the next. It’s kind of important to make sure he DOESN’T get everything he wants. If he did, he’ll always feel like this is how life should be for him. I know this because I was exactly like him. I was worse though. I ruined many Christmases with bratty, pouting, tears that I regret to this day. I use my own stories of selfishness to tell my boys they shouldn’t act like that because they’ll end up regretting their behavior the way I do.

Christmas cards. I’ve talked about this a lot, so you may already know how I feel. I didn’t stop doing them just because I’m lazy (it’s a big reason, but not the only one). I stopped because I was utterly unhappy doing them. And when something takes so much time and effort but makes you miserable, it’s got to stop. I’m sorry, but a moment of someone ripping open the envelope, looking at your card for 5 seconds, then saying, “Oh that’s nice.” before hanging it up halfway behind someone else’s card, it’s not worth your happiness in a season that is supposed to be a joyful one.

I encourage you to consider yourself more often. No one will think you’re selfish or that you don’t care. They’ll be happy because you are happy. And if they’re not, pretend you’re Mick Jagger and sing;

“You can’t always get what you want … noooo you can’t always get what you need … but if you try sometimes, you may find, ya get what you need!”

Then maybe add a “tough noogies” like I would.