Back when Diddy was Puff Daddy and his undeniably fabulous album No Way Out gave us the song Been Around the World – a track that mimicked the Lisa Stansfield song of the same name and sampled David Bowie’s Let’s Dance – there was one line that might be my favorite of any song ever written:

Little kids all on the corner scream “THAT’S MY CAR!”

My favorite not just because it was said by one of my favorite rappers Ma$e, in his “I just woke up and I’m sitting on the edge of my bed” lazy rap style, but because that line is universal when it comes to little kids dreaming about making it big.

A hot car would go by and as a 10-year-old you’d point and scream, “That’s my car!” For me, back then, it was a Corvette, or as cool, buck-tooth & mulleted me would call it, “a ‘Vette”.

I don’t want a ‘Vette anymore, but the things I still plan on getting when I’m rich one day are as follows:

– a train inside my house to take me from room to room in my mansion like Ricky Schroder in Silver Spoons.

– a sweeping staircase in the front of my penthouse mansion and a smaller staircase down to my kitchen like in Diff’rent Strokes.

– a secret passage to the second floor of my mansion like in Webster.

– a Ferrari like Thomas Magnum and a helicopter like T.C.’s in Magnum P.I.

– a movie theater in my mansion with a fully-functioning concession stand.

– a stretch limo with a driver.

– a grotto like in the Playboy mansion but a family-friendly one 😉

– a carnival set up in my backyard like at the end of Grease so I could act out the We Go Together finale while wearing an exact replica of Sandy’s outfit, giant permed biff and all.

– speaking of permed biffs – I’d gift Teara with a Volkswagen Cabriolet convertible like in the movie Can’t Buy Me Love. She used to have one of her own but had to give it up when she had kids. She still cries about it.

– a ranch for Lol because she always loved horses. I’d throw in some hot stable boys for her to flirt with.

– a private jet to bring Pa to all the Notre Dame football games. But I’d have to knock him out B.A. Baracus-style because he hates to fly.

I can’t think of anything else right now. There may be a part 2 to this blog. Let me know what you will get when you’re rich.