So I was going to write about how Jack Nicholson’s character went insane in The Shining, the Stanley Kubrick movie that was originally a book by Stephen King.

I would’ve blah blah blah-ed my way to the point where I tell you that the one tip I give new mothers is to go outside and sit in the fresh air to help with postpartum depression (or any depression, really.) I find fresh air is amazing for your wellbeing, even if all you want to do is stay in bed.

I went to Google to find out if in The Shining, when “Murder” is spelled backwards in blood on the door – is it one word or two?

I tried two words for my search – Red Rum. Surprisingly, there was no mention of the movie (that I still haven’t seen from beginning to end because it always scared the crap out of me.)

Instead I came upon link after link about a horse named Red Rum. Apparently he’s like the Brad Pitt of horses in Ireland. Psshh…never heard of him.

The only famous horses I knew were Black Beauty, because Lol read me and Teara the book at bedtime when we were kids; and Seabiscuit because of the 2003 movie – which btw, I can never say without imagining my friend Patty mocking Toby Maguire saying, “I love you, Theebiscuit” 😂

Horse racing is so yuck to me. I once saw a race where the horse was run so hard that he broke his leg and toppled over right there on the track.

I’ve heard justification that the horses want to do it; it’s their passion and they wouldn’t want it any other way.

Ok, human who is making a shit-ton of money off of these poor animals. I didn’t know you could speak horse.

Or is your horse like Mr. Ed and speaks English to you? Does he say, “I just love pushing my body to the literal breaking point so I can make a shit-ton of money for you and all the other humans. It’s so fun!”?

I digress.

Turns out Red Rum was a Steeplechase racing horse (which I also learned means not just running, but jumping over things too). He made history by winning like a million races.

But as I was searching Google about murder and horses like all normal people do at 5am, I came across a Snopes link that read, “Was the horse head in The Godfather real?”

Naturally I needed to find out what kind of moron would think that a real, severed horse head would be used in a movie.

Holy shit guys, I’m the moron. The moron is me. Why? Because IT. WAS. FUCKING. REAL.

And I quote:

The studio had encouraged Francis Ford Coppola to use a fake horse head, but he didn’t like the mock-up. His scouts found a horse ready for slaughter at a dog-food plant in New Jersey. The art director picked one that looked like the horse in the film and said, “When that one is slaughtered, send us the head.” Coppola later remembered, “One day, a crate with dry ice came with this horse’s head in it.”

I’m sorry but WHAT??? I thought horse racing was the worst thing that could happen to these beautiful creatures but now I find out they actually ARE used for dog food AND their severed heads are used for authenticity in movies?? I mean, there’s a reason Coppola is the one of the greatest of all time but seriously Franny, that’s a bit much.

Also, I’d like to add before wrapping up this blog entry (because I don’t want to find out any other horror worthy horse-related tidbits), that the actor who played the movie producer who wakes up with the horse head in his bed, John Marley, was robbed for not winning an Oscar for that scene alone.

Unless they switched out the real head with a fake one in the frame they’re in together (doubtful), that guy sat in a bed covered in blood with a mother-fucking real severed horse head. Brad Pitt’s got nothin’ on him!And Red Rum has nothing on that poor, nameless horse who was headed for the dog food cans but also ended up as the real star of The Godfather.