I was just sucked into a moms fb page and I started feeling really badly about myself. The original poster asked which neighborhood she should move to from out of state. All these people chimed in and of course if I didn’t know them already I had to see what they looked like. So many perfect people. I started getting that jealousy belly rumble in my 10 lbs too heavy gut as I envied all these hardbodied women in pictures with their 4 kids. One extra child than me and still looking better than I ever did even before kids.

I thought to myself that maybe if I did their gym routine religiously I’d eventually be really into it and crave going to the gym. No. I did that a few years ago and then one day I was like, “Oh God I never want to go back again. I hate this so so much.”

I just wasn’t cut out to be one of those woman. I give them a lot of credit for pushing themselves to be the best they can be, but it looks really exhausting.

I’ve been going through phases of quarantine. At first I was barely showering. Now I find when I don’t do it in the morning, it sets the tone for the whole day to be kind of slovenly. So while these women are smashing their alarm clock buttons at 5am to go for a run, or hit their home gym – my goal is to shower by 8am. #goals 🙌

I don’t know where I’m going with this blog post. I guess I just want everyone, including myself, to stop comparing themselves to others. I have the power to become a hard body but I don’t want to put in the work. That’s all my fault. I’m not going to hate on those women. But I’m also going to push those jealousy feelings aside.

Ugh jealousy feelings suck so bad.

Yes, I do realize this entry has turned into a diary entry of self-conscious rambling.

No, I’m not going to say that I’m happy the way I am. I’m not exactly thrilled with myself right now.

I’m not going to say that those women are probably unhappy because they have to work so hard at it. You know why? Because I know what it feels like to put on a pair of size 2 jeans that I previously didn’t fit into. It’s glorious.

My mind wanted to go to hating these women or “feeling sorry for them” as a defense mechanism for my own self-dissatisfaction. I’m not going to do that.

Anyway, don’t feel jealous of others if you have the ability to do what they’re doing. Or even if you don’t, stop feeling jealous. Think of something else that you do love about yourself or your life. Don’t hate on other people because they’re out there doing it.