Here’s a little story for y’all to peep it’s called “Me and my friends on four-twen-ty.”

*Please read the above sentence in the same rhythm as the first line of Mike on the Mic from the quintessential Beastie Boys album Paul’s Boutique. Thank you.

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past few decades, 4/20 is the national holiday for marijuana lovers. We were always told that it’s celebrated on 4/20 because 420 is the police code for possession.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that is FALSE! It’s actually named that because some kids in California always met at the same statue to smoke at 4:20 and it grew from there.

For the record, I am not a marijuana lover. If I ever tried it, I think it would make me feel extremely paranoid and very hungry.

But … I had some friends back in the day who definitely liked to partake in a little blazing, burning, baking, hot boxing, toking, puffing the magic dragon … you get the idea, so I have this funny little story to tell.

Picture it … North Babylon … 1996 …

There was a rumor that somehow became fact to me and my friends, that there was a pot parade in NYC.

Apparently this parade started or ended in Washington Square Park. I vaguely remember thinking the Beastie Boys were going to be there, or that they organized it. I don’t know, I’m kinda foggy on the details.

We also wanted to go because Washington Square Park was where Kids was shot and we were obsessed with that movie.

We had crushes on the actors Casper, played by Justin Pierce (RIP) and Telly, played by Leo Fitzpatrick, and were hoping to run into them because they were real-life skater kids that Larry Clark recruited to be in his movie, (along with then-unknowns Chloë Sevigny and Rosario Dawson), and we heard they really hung out there.

Fun fact: my friend named her dog Casper after that character because she loved him and also because he was an all-white Yorkie like Casper the Friendly ghost. Awww Caspie 😍😍😍

So we did what any responsible 19-year-old would do – ditched work and set out for the pot parade!

We drove to the Babylon train station, parked, paid our $7.50 (if I remember correctly) for a round trip ticket to Penn Station, and excitedly waited on the platform for the train to arrive.

After settling into our seats for the hour-long ride, we’d talk over the voice on the loud speaker announcing the stops:

“Babylon … Lindenhurst … Copiague … Amityville … Massapequa Park … Massapequa … Seaford … Wantagh … Bellmore … Merrick … Freeport … Baldwin … Rockville Centre … Jamaica … Kew Gardens … Forest Hills … Penn Station.”

If you’re familiar with this line up, I know you just read that as “Massapequaaa Paaarrrkkk … Massapequaaaaaaaa…….”

Also, testing non-Long Islanders on how to pronounce those town names is a fun game you should play if ever given the chance.

Finally we got to Penn and rushed through the crowd, up the escalator, and out onto the city streets, desperate to get to the parade by 4:20 pm.

* side note: If you’ve never been to NYC, I highly recommend it. There really is that certain energy that you cannot feel anywhere else.

We got to Washington Square Park and stood there for a good 5-10 minutes in denial. Did we miss it? Maybe it didn’t start yet? Did we go to the wrong park?

There was no parade. No Beastie Boys. No Casper and Telly. No one was even smoking pot.

It was a bunch of sober people feeding pigeons and playing with their kids or whatever. There are a lot of foggy moments from that day but I’ll never forget our disappointment.

To this day we don’t know if someone was punking us or if there ever was once a mystical 4/20 pot parade ☹️

Today, as a responsible adult, I feel the need to add: if you want to celebrate this beloved holiday, PLEASE practice social distancing.

Do what most pot heads would prefer to do anyway – stay home, lay on your couch and watch Dazed and Confused or Cheech & Chong: Up in Smoke.

But please, do not venture out to find some pot parade because there’s no such thing anyway! ☮️