My diet has reached an all time high of gluttonous gluttony.

I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror after doing my: wake up in the middle of the night angry because people aren’t practicing social distancing / go to the bathroom / check on my kids routine, and I didn’t even recognize myself.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (even though saying it proves to do absolutely nothing), I need to reign it in 😫

I work at a desk with one cute little drawer in it. Do you know what I keep in that drawer?

Important paperwork? No.

Office essential such as pens, highlighters, and white-out? No.

Notepads for jotting down my brilliant ideas? No.

It contains a plastic bag filled with candy wrappers.

Why, you ask?

Because every time I pass my kids’ Easter baskets on the dining room table, I grab a handful of candy and sneakily eat it in my office and then shove the wrappers into the plastic bag in my cute little drawer.

It’s my drawer of shame.

My son is allergic to peanuts, so when PJ ordered Cadbury Cream Eggs online and we discovered they were made in a facility that produced candy with peanuts, I felt it was my duty to eat all 12 of those cream eggs.

I bravely conquered that challenge in 3 days. Granted, I gave 4 to my parents because I’m aware of my own weaknesses, and PJ had like, 1 🙄

However, after realizing frozen Cadbury Cream Eggs may be the taste I’ve been yearning for my whole life, there was no stopping me.

My breakfast yesterday was strawberry Pop Tarts and a Cadbury Cream Egg.

My lunch (which was about a 1/2 hour after breakfast) was Soy Sauce flavored Rahmey Noodies and a Cadbury Cream Egg.

My dinner was turkey pot pie (made with love by my Mommy) and a Cadbury Cream Egg.

If I didn’t run out of cream eggs, I was bound to turn into that clucking bunny who comes around every year.

*side note: Cadbury hasn’t changed that commercial for decades but I’m not even mad at them. When you see that little fella backstage at the Cadbury bunny tryouts, you know it’s Easter time! And like the tagline says, “Nobunny knows Easter better than Cadbury’s.”

What makes this all worse for me is that PJ has been so disciplined, and the further down the numbers on the scale go for him, the more they creep up on me.

It’s as if I’m rebelling against his fitness, and the only fitness I’m into these days is … wait for it …

fittin’ this whole Cadbury Cream Egg in my mouth 🤭 🥁