I hate feeling peer-pressured into watching a show because everyone else is watching it. Is FOMO still a thing anymore? Because I’m having it with Tiger King. We started it the other night but I kept falling asleep.

* side note: I tried to blame falling asleep during every tv show on my hefty schedule in the past but now I basically sit in a comfy chair in my pajamas all day, so why am I still tired? Maybe it’s the drinking 😬 (You know you need to stop when your mom “jokingly” tells you you’re going to turn into an alcoholic.)

Anyway, I wanted to start up Tiger King again last night but PJ wanted to watch Ozark, so we did. I fell asleep and ended up seeing neither. And what especially sucks is that I always seem to wake up at the very end of a show and ruin it for myself.

I need to watch Tiger King though because I’m starting to feel like the only kid in town who doesn’t have cable again. (I can just hear my mom saying “oh yes you were sooo deprived!😂)

So how’s this pandemic going for everyone? I’m still great (and I mean that personally and in the most selfish sense because I do know how devastating this is for so many others and I am so so sorry), and my kids are good, but PJ admits he’s going stir-crazy.

I don’t get it. With me as his wife providing endless amounts of entertainment and dazzling conversation, how could he ever want to leave? (I kid, I kid. I’m a giant pain in the ass.)

I’ve been having some crazy dreams lately. I attribute them to me convincing myself that I’m 100% fine but when I go to sleep it’s my subconscious taking over letting me know that things are the exact opposite of fine.

I dreamt I went into labor in the shopping center where we used to hang out when we were younger – excruciating pain and all.

I dreamt that a powerful man was getting his revenge on me and my friend for speaking ill of him by sending his cohorts out to get us. This dream felt like it was 3 hours long. My dreams are usually quick and I remember maybe one distinct part of them, but this one just kept going and going. I think this symbolizes that the “stay home” order is until May.

Last night I dreamt that I went to see Star Wars in the theater and everyone kept talking. This is one of my many pet peeves, and yes, I will tell someone to be quiet even if I’m afraid of getting jumped in the parking lot afterwards.

I was really angry and kept shushing everyone. Then they all jumped up and started dancing like it was The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I got so mad that I stormed out and went to the concession stand. They were only serving soda in soup cups and that really pissed me off too. I was so frustrated and anxiety-ridden through the whole thing.

I’m no psychologist but I think these dreams are telling me that I am really friggin stressed out.

But you know the saying: Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt 😁 and I’m going to continue riding this wave and telling myself (in my waking hours at least) that this is all fine! This is all just fine!!