I learned from Teacher Teara that my behavior as of late has a name: Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), which means that when the whole world is trying to tell me what I should be doing, I go in the opposite direction.

When this happens, I usually end up coming to my senses and doing things correctly, but in a way that fits my style.

In this case my ODD reared it’s ugly head when it came to homeschooling.

The homeschool bomb was dropped on us along with the Coronavirus, and most people sprang into action.

All over Facebook, there were threads discussing homeschooling techniques and parents posting some scary-ass looking schedules.

In typical ODD fashion, I posted about my Ramen Noodle addiction after drinking 2 dirty martinis 😬

Last week was basically party time for the Petti children. I’m not ashamed of it because I strongly believe that even if they’re not acting like they’re stressed, this has to be hard on them. I don’t think enforcing a rigorous schedule straight out of the box would’ve helped.

I think many parents felt the same way, but come Monday, I’m sure they had their kids hop on their chrome books as instructed and begin their new normal.

I did not.

In my defense, my middle son was sick, so I gave him the day off.

I let my youngest choose what he wanted to do from the packet of work that was sent home and he did, like, one thing.

My oldest acted like a computer gaming nerd all day; the only difference is he was upstairs instead of in our basement – but only because we don’t have one.

The guilt started creeping in, so when I was done with work for the day, I forced them to sit and listen to me read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. You would think I told them I was going to rip their toenails out one by one.

My boys are all well-behaved in school, so I was surprised by how they were acting. It’s not like I was reading Nietzsche, it’s a fun story!

I dug my heels in. They pushed back. The oldest and youngest were disruptive and annoying and got yelled at, threatened, and evil-eyed by me several times.

I was determined to make them give Harry a chance. Millions of people can’t be wrong!

So I read the 1st chapter and then did a Q&A to make sure they were listening and comprehending. They did.

In that moment it hit me. They’re ODD like their mom! And like me, they push back a bit, but then they usually fall into place; so they’re getting that schedule that I’d threatened them with starting today.

It’s extremely necessary anyway because school is out until May 15th, and PJ and I are both working from home.

Also because it’s turned a bit Lord of the Flies-ish around here.

For starters, my horrible eating habits have me playing the role of Piggy.

My oldest lives in his undies and randomly walks around the house screaming nonsense. I’m waiting for him to break out the face paint at any moment.

My middle is always complaining that we have no food. He only eats 3 things, so whose fault is that? He’s lucky I’m not having him hunt for pigs.

My youngest has gone from Ralph at school to Jack at home. Or for those who haven’t read Lord of the Flies – from Milhouse Van Houten to Nelson Muntz (HA-HAA!)

So yes, a schedule is much needed – and I know they’re going to love it. Wish me luck.